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Episode 27 - Good and Bad Therapy, How to Find the Right Therapist

podcast Jan 30, 2020

Mamas, it is so important to have a good therapist for yourself and for your children if either of you need one. You shouldn’t settle for a therapist just because it’s convenient, they accept your insurance, or because you’ve worked with someone forever and don’t want to start over. 

In this episode, I’m going to be talking to you about what you need to look for and what you should want regarding good and bad therapy.

I’m going to give you some tips and tricks on how to know for sure that the therapist you’re seeing is the right fit for you and your family.

  • [03:33] A lot of times, people continue going to the same therapist because they get comfortable but they’re not really finding that they’re having any change. On the other hand, therapists also have to check how much a client is working in the session or in between sessions. 
  • [04:01] A good therapist should educate people on what therapy is and it is not something that should last forever. The goal of therapy is to get the person functioning again, to help them find relationships outside the therapy session that serve them, and to find ways for them to improve. This could vary depending on the person and what diagnosis they are suffering with.
  • [06:18] It’s important to know the differences between psychiatrists, clinical psychologists, licensed social workers and the qualifications they have. 
  • [14:38] Some red flags to look for in therapy: if you are not feeling safe and comfortable; you should feel heard - make sure the person is listening to you; you should feel that your therapist likes you; you shouldn’t leave a session feeling embarrassed or shameful; make sure that progress is being made; you want someone who challenges you a bit; make sure that the therapist is professional; the therapist should not seem anxious, distracted or uncomfortable; the therapist should be approachable and you feel completely supported by them; you should not feel like you have to take care of your therapist; your therapist should never touch you or cross a boundary where they are sexual towards you or wanting you to be their friend.
  • [24:47] The things you should look for in a therapist that will be a good fit for you: ask other people what they’ve heard about the practice; go to a someone who specializes in what you need help on; look at the therapeutic style they have; make sure  your personality fits your therapist, that you are connected with them and you feel safe with them; you need to see results; their feedback should be practical and emotionally in tune with what you’re dealing with; therapist needs to understand what you are looking for and what you want to accomplish; you want to feel they’re listening to you and that they remember your story; you should feel like they’re interested in what you’re saying; you should be able to ask questions to them; they should check in on your progress; they believe you can change; make sure they’re keeping up with new treatments, evidence and continuing education; you want to feel safe in their office; therapist should have done their own therapy. 
  • [39:16] What to look for in therapists for children: make sure they have experience working with children; that they are connected with your child’s pediatrician should any issues arise; parents have to participate in therapy with their children. 



Places to find therapists online:


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