Episode 9 - Reparenting Ourselves
Sep 26, 2019
Why is there a need for us to reparent ourselves? A lot of times, we come from a background where there was physical abuse, sexual abuse, or neglect. You may have experienced it yourself or witnessed it. This podcast can bring up a lot of heavy feelings and if and if it does, please consider finding a trained therapist in your area that specializes in working with trauma or past childhood wounds.
I hope this podcast will allow you to become free from feeling like a victim and empower you. If we stay in victim mentality then we are still allowing the people or person who hurt us to win. And I don’t want you to pass on what happened to you to your children. Sometimes we need to reparent ourselves and fulfill our unmet needs which will allow us to enjoy our current life.
This is not an easy task and it will take time. I hope by listening you will take some first steps towards reparenting yourself. You can be whole again and you don’t need to stay stuck in the past.
- [04:10] Emotional regression happens if we don’t get our needs met as a child. We emotionally regress back to a time when we were younger.
- [05:34] Another way emotional regression can play out is through feelings of jealousy. Jealousy is a strong indicator that something in your need box was not met. It’s important to look at where it’s coming from.
- [06:26] Another sign is gossiping. We’ve all done it as adults but it’s a sure sign that we’re regressing.
- [07:28] Other signs of regression: raging, overreacting to something, physical symptoms (heart raising, stomach upset, panic attack), accusing people of things, name-calling, sarcasm, interrupting somebody, not listening, thinking you know it all, saying your fine when you are not, saying yes to something when it’s really a no, and so much more.
- [10:50] If we don’t look at reparenting ourselves, we might end up doing things that did not make us feel good during our childhood.
- [11:50] Start looking at giving yourself some space to grieve the childhood you didn’t have because every child deserves to be safe, loved and cared for.
- [12:15] In reparenting yourself you need to give yourself something that you didn’t get as a child.
- [19:18] Other things you can do: create boundaries for yourself that you didn’t receive as a child; be mindful and kind to yourself; allow yourself to be vulnerable to others; take care of your physical body; teach yourself what you teach your kids don’t settle for relationships that bring you down; don’t live in the victim mentality; take a new outlook in life; be compassionate, kind and forgiving to yourself; regulate your nervous system in some energy work; and knowing that it’s okay to take care of yourself.
- [30:07] Do this exercise: Think of a specific incident in your past where you felt hurt. Try to think back what happened before this incident took place and write it down with all the thoughts and feelings you had at that time. Imagine the situation as you wished it could have happened and ask yourself why it didn’t happen that way. Treat yourself with compassion for that specific incident.