Episode 5: Coping With Mother’s Day
May 07, 2020
Mother’s day is just around the corner. In this episode I want to talk about coping with this holiday through infertility, through the decision to adopt, and the waiting process. I know that this can be a very difficult time. It can feel overwhelming because it is a big reminder of something we really want to have in our life but don’t.
The biggest message I can leave you with today is that it’s okay to have feelings of grief and allow yourself to feel the space to have these emotions, in whatever way feels best to you.
Coping with Mother’s Day isn’t “a one size fits all” mentality.
- [04:45] The number one thing is be kind to yourself and realize that your feelings are valid. Everyone has their own journey through adoption. It’s a process. A lot of times it’s just giving yourself that space.
- [09:06] Mother’s day is always looked at as this joyful day and I think we have to remember that for many it is not. There’s comfort in taking a deep breath and knowing that you are not alone and for many this day is really sad and overwhelming. That’s a natural reaction. Allow yourself to have those feelings.
- [11:53] If it’s really feeling like a struggle to you, avoid uncomfortable situations during mother’s day such as dining out.
- [14:33] I’m a big believer in self-care for moms, moms-to-be and those who are waiting to adopt a baby. Self-care may look a little different during COVID19 but there are still many things that you can do to care for yourself.
- [16:54] Don’t put all your energy into the fact that it’s mother’s day. It’s really important to say that “it’s just another day.” It’ll help make it easier for you to get through this day and move on.
- [17:50] Don’t get on social media because you’re going to be flooded with all sorts of things. If you get on social media to be part of a support group that is helping you, that’s great. But make sure it is comforting and leaves you feeling better. Some of the support groups out there don’t always leave you feeling hopeful.
- [18:38] Do something you really enjoy, anything that feels like a treat for you to help you feel better. Avoid things that may bring you to a bad place such as over drinking and overeating. Although if it this does happen, give yourself the grace of forgiving yourself for that...you are doing the best you can right now.
- [22:12] Crying can also be a form of self-care. It’s okay to cry and let your feelings out. Another important thing is to surround yourself with people with make you feel good and not depleted.
- [23:35] On this day, I want you to keep the message in your mind that “Today you take care of you.” Even more so than other days. You have the right to do that. You have the right to say no to engage in things that make you feel sad. You have the right to have your feelings if you are sad.
- [24:37] Meditate, pray, and get in touch with your inner soul. What is your intuition trying to tell you that you need? Making sure you go through the day breathing and knowing that it’s going to be okay. Give yourself the hope and the knowing that at some point you’re going to become a mom and it’s going to be okay and you are going to be celebrating mother’s day in the future!
- [26:14] And when you do become a mom, I bet you are going to be more grateful than most people are on this day. Hold it close to your heart. It will happen. It’s a hard journey but you will survive this and get through it.