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Episode 30 - My Journey with Anorexia Nervosa

podcast Feb 20, 2020

For the longest time, I've been wanting to do a series of episodes on eating disorders. I specialize in this area and I feel that it’s a really important topic that I want to give it justice. If you’ve listened to some of my previous episodes, you already know that I’ve dealth with an eating disorder, too, when I was young. I know how it feels and I want to share it’s seriousness with you in the hopes that you or someone you know will be helped or will reach out for help.

This will be a 3 part episode where I talk about my journey, the different eating disorders and some statistics. I want to share with you things like what you need to do to help someone, what you shouldn’t say, the setbacks people with eating disorders experience, and so much more.

If you know someone who has an eating disorder, these episodes will be important to share.

 

  • [05:15] When you are malnourished you don’t have the capacity to think clearly. You won’t remember things clearly.
  • [06:04] My eating disorder started when i was 14. I was never really overweight. I was going through puberty and my body was starting to change.
  • [08:48] It started out as a normal diet to shed a few pounds. I then started to shed those pounds, started to exercise and at one point I was only consuming 500 to 600 calories a day.
  • [09:17] When i started to lose weight people would commend me how I looked great like I’v lost weight. That can be such a trigger to someone.
  • [09:50] wWhen i know someone who’s trying to lose weight, I never talk about it. I believe that we don’t know who can develop an eating disorder. In my brain I was saying, “wow will people say when i lose 20 pounds or 30 pounds at then it doesn’t become enough.”
  • [10:48] When someone has an eating disorder, it’s never enough. The best anorexic is a dead anorexic because there’s no stopping end point and it’s never going to be enough
  • [13:54] You feel control, powerful, because you feel you’re doing something challenging. But in reality, the stuff you’re doing isn’t normal.
  • [19:00] Here’s the thing you have to remember about an eating disorder, especially anorexia. They will tell you “I’m not hungry. I don’t want to eat that.” I was hungry. People with anorexia are hungry. And they will tell you things like “I eat.” but they eat very little.
  • [21:12] I was living in hell on the outside. I was trying to convice everyone I’m fine but inside it was torture. I hated myself, I knew it was never going to be enough. I was extremely depressed, very obsessive compulsive. I wanted to have normal relationships.
  • [27:08] One of the big things that lead people to death with anorexia, which has the highest mortality rate out of all the eating disorders, is suicide. My brain wasn’t working right, I wasn't thinking clearly.
  • [30:07] One day I saw the Karen carpenter story. She died of an eating disorder. She died of congestive heart failure. My mom also stepped up and inspired me to get things right. This was the turning point in my life.
  • [32:05] if I could get someone to shift their thinking towards their recovery , that’s the key. All other things fall into place.
  • [45:20] I share this story with you because I want you to know the seriousness of what can happen when you have an eating disorder. It isn’t just a matter of when you have. It can catch up to you years later. And that’s what I always tell people when they see me.
  • [45:48] I do hope that by sharing this story people are given hope, it gives them the seriousness that you can’t minimize it. It made me find my direction in life as a psychiatrist.
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